i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
