to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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