How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
