Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Randomize
