remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
