I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
