Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize