This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
