The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
