Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
