my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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