it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
