so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Too much gin, very little bucket
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
