hotel room ftw
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
