Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
