You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
