shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize