I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
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