Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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