he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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