I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
