Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
