their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize