i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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