it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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