you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
