Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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