There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Don't tell me you're on acid again
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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