white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
40s are totally the cure
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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