how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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