I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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