remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
