hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
