I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
