ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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