just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My vagina just recognized that song.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize