My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize