You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
