I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
