she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
