Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
