I accidentally had phone sex last night
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
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