There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
