New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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