dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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