Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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