there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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