I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
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