I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
