So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
