so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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