dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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