Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
