I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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