That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize