Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
