Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
